So I figure it's time I update this lovely journal.

I spent most of the morning cleaning the entire kitchen, the livingroom and my bathroom. I was going to clean my room and rearrange it, but I don't know how I want to move my room around... not like I have many options to begin with, butyeh. I'm tired of the way it looks. I want it to look the same way it did when we first moved in. It looked SPOTLESS. It needs to be spotless again. I just get so discouraged when it comes to cleaning my room because I know within a matter of hours something will be on the floor again because my brother just hasn't gotten the whole laundry basket / closet thing down. He insists on putting his crap right along the sides of his bed and if I ask him to pick it up, he'll say, "I like my crap right next to my bed." -- so of course, I gotta do it myself.

I'm 17 freaking years old and I've NEVER had my own room. I'm so tired of sharing one and not having it decorated MY way. I mean, I have the SAME FREAKING BEDSPREAD AS MY BROTHER. I've never had a girly one. And you know what? I WANT A GIRLY BEDSPREAD. I want it to be PINK. and pretty. I want a girly rug. I want some girly things to decorate my walls with. I hate my room just being "plane" and looking as if it belongs to only boys. There's nothing really "pretty" in here. It's just "eh" and I don't want to be "eh" anymore.

adsfkj.

Anyways. I talked to Collene earlier today. She's a great friend and I think I sometimes take that for granted. I'd seriously feel entirely friendless without her and I hate how I don't take the time to call her instead of her always having to be the one trying to get ahold of me. I might just have to make it a goal to try and call her every day, because I just really need a good friend. I made some new friends at DV, but I just haven't really connected with them / know them well enough to consider them TRUE friends. I don't need many friends, I just need one good one. And I think that's been Collene all along and I just didn't take the time to notice it.

Other than that sappy friend stuff, I might be hanging out with Collene this coming weekend which should be fun. Even if we just sit around, atleast I won't be doing it by myself. xD I think after next weekend, she'll be staying here the weekend after. I want to get my hair cut, but I want a friend to go with and pick out a style. If the style is just totally ridiculous, I won't do it, but if it's not bad I s'pose I'm going to have to give it a try. I need to quit being a whimp. ;x

Current Mood: bored

Last night we got a big.. erm, "lightning" storm. It was great. My dad, brother and I took the dogs out for a walk and the lightning was above us and it lit up so much of the sky. It was beautiful. :x

We've had a possibly chance of getting thunderstorms in the afternoon/night ALL week, but we've only got like TWO and then we have the same chances all the way through NEXT week but I doubt we'll get anything while at school which blows.

Today was great. I love school. :x I don't have that much homework for the weekend, atleast not anything I can't handle and I sat with Catherine and Katheleen again today. I don't really talk to them THAT much, butyeh. They kind of talk a lot to each other about their classes and sometimes I say something but I mostly just listen. Another girl came over and she started talking a lot. She's nice, probably could get annoying though. Her name is Kirsten.

don't really have much to sayyy.

Current Mood: bored

I don't have much time to update and I'm not going to do another class to class update BUT I'm pretty positive I have friends to sit with at lunch now. xD I accidently made a friend. Funny how that works. I had to break the $5 my dad gave me, so I ended up getting an Arby's Sandwich and a drink and on my way back to my usual spot I saw a girl sitting there. From a distance, I thought it was Jami (girl I met yesterday) so I walked up and as I got closer I realized it wasn't her. I sat down anyways, said hi. She said hi and she was all "she'll be right back" and I was like "Jami?" and she goes "Yeah, she went to the bathroom.. wait, no. Not Jami. Katheleen." And I was like "Oh, I have no idea who she is" and she was all "What's your name? I'm sorry, I forgot" and I was like "It's Kylee, we've never actually met before. I thought you were someone else and when I realized you weren't, I decided to sit here anyways." xD She found her friend sitting at a table and asked if I wanted to sit with them, I said sure and then she told me I could sit with them whenever. They're nice. Smart. Geeks. OBSESSED with LOTR. I guess I'm going to have to strap myself down to watch the movies so I can talk to them about something. lmao. ;3

Current Mood: accomplished

Today was probably the best day out of the first three days of school. My classes went well, as usual. Tyler and I are partners for a project and we talked more today. I still don't talk as much as I normally do around people I know well, but I actually asked him questions instead of just responding to his. At lunch, some girl came and sat with me which basically made this day the best day. I didn't spend the entire lunch period by myself although after she ate she went to the library to do her homework. She was real talkative and friendly. Her name is Jami. She's a sophomore. Doesn't really have any friends at 5th period lunch, so maybe she'll sit with me again? Lol. I can't believe how she came up to me so easily and was just so outgoing. I know how easy it is to just walk up to someone and ask if you can sit with them, it's all easy in my head but I don't think I can force myself to do it. Anyways, math went by fast. No homework tonight. ;) We took a quiz and I'm sure I did well on it which makes me happy. Government was amusing. We were doing this team shipwreck thing and this boy John was in my group and he's just like the class clown. He's so funny and outgoing, it's crazy. He even cracks jokes with the teacher that most people wouldn't. I just don't understand why I can't be as outgoing as most other people are. :|

But yeahh. Good day, obviously. The bus ride sucked. My brother and I ended up sharing a seat (which we normally don't do) and the bus was so packed, that one girl couldn't even find a seat and had to get off. /: I told my dad last night he needed to get Isaac's bike fixed, but he didn't say anything.

Current Mood: calm

August 7th

So my first day of school went well. I had my dad take my brother and I to school an HOUR early which turned out to be a bad idea. I thought we'd have to wait in huge lines for our schedules but when I got to the auditorium to get mine, there wasn't even a line. I went to the office to get two maps and waited for my brother. We sat around till the bell then went our own ways. My first class was Ceramics 3-4 with Mr. Honaker who I met last year when I had Ceramics 1-2 with Mrs. Hanson. This class should be pretty good. My second period was a few classes down, Comp. Animation & Design with Mrs. Hanson. Turns out that "Comp. Animation & Design" is a cover up name for "Television Production" -- basically, my class and her first period will be switching off on doing the tv announcements. AGH. shootmenowplz. We'll do SOME animation but she only switched her class title so the class could be counted as fine arts credit so they have to throw in some animation. I guess I'm lucky I'll only have to do the announcements ONCE but it still sucks. I'm going to be so nervous. :| Besides that class, my 3rd hour is English -- my teacher should be cool. She's sarcastic. I like sarcastic people. My 4th hour is multimed. tech. This boy who sits next to me asked if I wanted to do the interview with him, so i said sure. He seems nice. Lunch sucked. I sat all by myself and it was freaking hot outside. Math was great. I was just unbelieveably happy when I found out my math teacher was FEMALE [bad experiences with male math teachers] annnnd I was even more excited when I found out my government class was only HALF a semester. YESSs. ;x

Waiting for the bus SUCKED so much. It was freaking HOT and then to make it better, nearly 40+ kids got on the bus when last year there was maybe 20? I sat 4 seats back from the front and it was so stuffy, literally no fresh air. It felt like I was breathing in what everyone was breathing out. The walk home from the bus stop sucked too. I could feel the sweat going down my back. I got home and I was literally soaked in my clothes. They were sticking to me. SEXY, RIGHT?

Came home, with a surprise. Pantene PRO V hair wash, new deoderant (SMELLS AMAZING), new tooth brush/tooth paste, gum, socks.. it was like.. christmas. Lmao. And the tooth brush? HEAVEN. Call me a nerd, but I just LOVE my tooth brush. It's so soft. itsgreat.

August 8th

I s'pose today was better. I mean, I guess it was since I didn't come home with a headache. I didn't have to use my schedule OR the map today. ;) Had all my classes down after the first day.

In Ceramics we had a little building contest with 3 balloons, popsicle sticks and rubber bands. My team didn't get far. I worked with one of the girls who was in my history class last year and two other girls, one of which invited me to be in their group. I was relieved. I thought I was going to have to invite myself into someones group if no one asked me. xD Second period was okayyy. On my way to 3rd I realized I didn't do the assigned reading and we'd have a quiz, so I was all stressed. Couldn't believe I forgot. I guessed on the whole quiz and got a 7/10. WHOSE GOOD? Kylee's good. Of course, I'll be doing my homework tonight. ;)

Multimed. Tech is probably my favorite class just under math. There's actually someone who talks to me, right away. And that's Tyler. He came in and was all "HEYY KYLEEE. IT'S GOIN PRETTY GOOD AND WHAT ABOUT YOU?" (I was a bit confused about him saying 'how it was' when i didn't ask?? but then i caught on and realized he asked me how 'it was going' for me too) and I was like "Heyyy Tylerr. Pretty good." We made small talk here and there and that was about it. He's a senior too, but gets out early. Lucky bum.

Lunch sucked again, as it will for the rest of the year. I guess I could say it didn't suck as much becuase it wasn't as hot out but it still sucked. Math was great. I did my homework last night and didn't struggle with any of it and I got more homework tonight and I know I'll get through it without a problem. Government was okay. We didn't do much really except talk and fill out more "getting to know you" sheets.

Waiting for the bus once again, sucked. I HATE waiting for the bus. I'm going to ask my dad if he can get my brother's bike fixed so we can ride our bikes to school or ask joni to pick us up on her days off so we don't spend every day of the week standing out there in the sun. I mean, I don't even know why our school hasn't gotten one of those.. ramadas (i think that's what they're called?) because the bus bay is BEHIND the school with barely ANY shade (3 SMALL trees that are ALWAYS crowded) and with all this skin cancer talk on the news / commercials you'd think they'd have gotten one for us over the summer or something. When the bus did arrive, i took one of the front seats and the ride home was much better. It was cooler at the front with fresh air. ;x

Haven't done much since I got home except get online. I'll probably get off soon to do my homework and watch tv. I'm also hungry now. I didn't eat lunch again. I'm thinking about packing a lunch. I don't want to wait in a long line to get food only to walk back to my spot.. to sit.. by myself. I noticed a kid on the hill sitting by himself. Excuse me for labeling, but he's a nerd. The kinda person I could get along with. ;x I was so tempted to just get up and ask if I could sit with him, ask him his name, what year he was and explain that I was new and what not.. but i couldn't do it. in my head it seems so easy, but to get myself to do it will be the challenge. he LOOKS nice, so i doubt i'd have a problem.. but idk? i'm just afraid of going over to him, saying hi, introducing myself, him telling me his name and then.. that's it. what if he's not social? i'm not exactly social myself so unless he likes to talk it'll be weird.

if i didn't enjoy my classes and i was sure i'd have a ride home, i'd get my schedule changed so i could get out just before lunch. i hate sitting by myself and i know if i hate it so much, i should do something about it.. but i just can't. i can't push myself to. i want to, but when i think about it, nothing happens. my feet aren't moving, i'm not going anywhere. maybe after time i'll get used to it. or maybe i'll join a club and make friends? idk. just as of now, it sucks.

Current Mood: bouncy

Last night around 9PMish my dad asked my brother and I if we wanted to go swimming around 10ish, we said okay, my dad went to the store. I decided to make top ramen instead of mac-n-cheese and while that was cooking, I shaved my legs and then when 10 rolled around, nothing happened. My dad came home after 10, then went out to the balcony to drink. He comes in around 11 and asks if we're ready to go. ERG. I told him I was ready to go at 10, but he just went out to the balcony, so I wasn't going anymore. And then he just stared at us for a second and left. He was really going to go by himself. That made me feel bad, lol. So I talked my brother into going and I went out and told my dad we were going and he's like "You don't have to go, I'm not mad." and I was like "I'm not worried about you being mad" I just feel bad for you. ;3

So we went swimming for about an hour. My brother and dad started doing arm farts, it was just about the hilarious thing I'd seen all day. No really. You should have seen my dad's face. He was pretending his hand was a gun while making arm farts and he was trying so hard, you could see it on his face.. it just made me laugh. A lot. I was ready to just start crying because I couldn't take it anymore. They looked stupid. ;x Of course, I looked worse when I tried but I just haven't gotten it down. I have no idea how they do it. But anyways, my dad was joking about how he'd be all bruised tomorrow, how he'd hurt himself just trying to do arm farts and go into the ER and the nurse would be like "Now how did you manage that Mr. Morgenstern?" and he'd be like "My son and I were doing arm farts."

Funny thing is, is this morning he came out and showed me his armpit and just like he joked, he did bruise himself. LMAO. ;X

Besides last night, today has been kinda boring. I made breakfast for my dad and brother (french toast, ohyehz), worked on one of my zines, watched "Kill Bill" (I've never seen the first one, it wasn't too bad) and then after that, my head hurt because my dad had the volume up on the tv real loud so I took a nap. It was a good nap. I woke up at one point to hear my brother say "FINALLY" and then I went back to sleep. Apparently I was snoring and it was driving him nuts.

School starts tomorrow. I'm not as nervous as I thought I'd be. I'm not actually stressing about it, but that could change when it's time to go to bed. I don't know if I'm depressed that my summer is over or excited because this is my last year of high school. I'm so tired of school. :x

Current Mood: dorky
Current Music: All I know is it's the White Stripes. ;x

Yay. No more ads. :] Thanks Kaleyyy.

So I just finished the math packet I got. It's all algebra stuff I basically learned last year and it took me forever to get through it, especially the last section which is REALLY pathetic. I could whiz through all that stuff if I was back at Thunderbird. Switching math classes right at the end of the year really screwed me over. I was ahead at one point, then so behind. My math teacher at DV taught things so differently and I was looking at the problems in the math packet... and I've learned all this stuff before but after trying to force myself to learn it the way my DV math teacher was teaching it, I just can't remember how I did it when I was at Thunderbird. =\ I mean, my teacher taught it so differently, I really thought I was learning something new until the end. Lmao. :( If things don't go well with this new math class I'm thinking I'll be dropping it and being a TA or something. If my new teacher teaches these things differently while moving on to new things I'll just never catch up. I mean I had a 98% in math at Thunderbird and then I passed my math class with a C and I basically failed the final. There was so much crap on there I didn't know and I even told my math teacher and he didn't do squat. I'm already stressed out and school hasn't even started. =\

Anyways, I watched "Prime" today. I think I'll have to watch it again before Joni takes it back though because I kinda missed a little of the beginning and right before the ending so I must of missed something that was said because the ending just completely sucked. I THINK they broke up, but were still friends or something? If that's the case, it really sucked. The movie was funny, good acting, great actors, great story.. but the ending. That's just not working for me. o.o

Current Mood: okay
Current Music: "Tangled" by Maroon 5

Current Mood: bored
Current Music: "Bossy" by Kelis. shh. ;X

QUICK QUESTIONS:
- Is there any way to "undergrade" myself to a basic account? This plus stuff sucks. The advertisements = annoying. They bug me. A lot. o.o;
- Anyone know of any good communities? Any add me, graphic/layout communities will do.

Besides that, my dad has my sister's address so I'll be writing her and my mom a letter tonight. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to write them or not, especially my mom because she's the one I want to get to the most but a girl from Ignite emailed me and pointed out some things as to why I should and she's right... there are just so many reasons why I should write, whether I can get her to go get help or not. The letter wouldn't just be for her, but for me too. I'm just not the kind of person who pours their heart out into letters every day and it's going to be hard to do and I just hate the thought of it doing no good. :/

Current Mood: stressed